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well.. i feel sad.. my chingus are all in bad impressions on me saying im not taking the step to make a call to them..actually i sommetimes wonder why i didnt call them.. but i guessed they might hv felt like im bothering them n stuff.. they might argue that i didnt contribute in sending us to outings but its not like a never did.. i did send them to many places.. i wish i was more outgoing instead of being an introvert..it sucks to have the person you rely n trust to go behind you n badmouth about u.. i wish they said it out instead of beingawkward n acting like they dont know me anymore.. they said im oblivious to they could have figoured out i didnt realise i was acting like this.. i wish i could control my emotions much better n not to let my tears drop too easily.. i really want to be chingus forever.. i hope that my other close chingu is not brainwashed by the chingu.. i want to redeem myself n be like old times again.. i wish they would understand im not at fault always.. i do want to have some time for myself family and friends.. i have been a little stressed out from my ballet exam as i just couldnt find my emotions to the grade dances.. why is my chingu n helping me n i need her but instead she brought out all my bad n weaknesses.. i swear i didnt talk bad about the but instead defended her when she was attacked unless she was at wrong.. i dont believe im the only one at wrong this time.. i wish they understood how i feel.. the chingu was moving on too fast i just couldnt catch up.. i.hate.this.